Since I've Purged it.................

I just wanted to let the masses know that I recognize my adolescent behavior and thinking. But I will also like to point out that it is very likely that it will not end soon. The calling of friends to cry and blubber? Yeah, that's gonna continue. I will possibly continue my bad attitude and standoffishness to. Because I am still mad and hurt and confused and I can't talk myself out of it yet. Know that I see my own silliness and I thank you for your continued support in it.

Someday I'll grow up and act better.

But for now, I've been thinking a lot about life and this journey. And how really it is just moments that change things. One moment you do not know you are pregnant, and the next moment you find out you are. One moment you are alone and then there is the moment when you meet the person you will spend the rest of your life with. One moment you don't have a job and the next there is a career opportunity offered to you. There is the moment when you hear news that change your life, and the moment you see something that leaves you completely different. Your entire future can be revealed in just one moment. And then, of course, there are the everyday magical moments of the pure ordinary that keep you going between those moments that change your life and give you some time to understand and get perspective.

Here's what I've discovered. We all have the same moments. We all experience the same 60 seconds in a minute. And the same 60 minutes in an hour. And the same 24 hours in a day. But it is what we do with our moments that make us all different. Some people write amazing tales. Some people invent amazing things. Some people shape and direct the world in amazing ways.

The thing that blows my mind is that we all have the same potential to do these amazing things. We just need to figure out how to tap into our moments. I watch my children and I have no doubt they can do anything they set their mind to. I believe in their potential. But somehow I have a feeling they may not believe in themselves as much as I believe in them. Because that is how we all are right? We may not see ourselves that way we really are or really can be. Some of have more creativity than other, more energy, more vision, more passion. But is it really that they just have more? Or are they just better and knowing themselves, and they've found the secret to tap it? I think it's the latter, for sure.

Even though right now my struggle centers around the way I feel like people (my family.....) see me. So maybe what really needs to happen is I have to figure out really how I see myself. I'm challenging myself to really find out where my creativity, my energy, my vision and my passion are. I have an infinite potential. I have the same 60 seconds, 60 minutes and 24 hours that everyone else does. I am just going to keep living and believing in who I think I really am. And then in one of the moments I am going to liberate myself. I'm going to start living the life I'd always imagined. And I'm going to make sure that my children know that their moments are precious and open and awesome and that they can do anything they set their mind to, and they will know who they are, without question.