"So Supportive"...................

I have been thinking about support a lot lately. You always here people say, "He's so supportive of me." But really, what are we talking about?

Mostly this is on my brain because I personally have been needing it like crazy. Yep, like everywhere, church, home, work. Some days I really think I might not have survived without my friends and family. Seriously, without the listening ears and good advice from my posse, who will remain nameless to protect their identity (Hey Amy, Katie, Leslie and Heather!! You girls rock!) Without them I'd be a goner. And on the flip side, I feel like there are some people in my life who truly feel like they are supportive of me, but who, in fact, really aren't.

So here's my thoughts about support. The true talent of it is being able to really see what the person wants, desires, needs and dreams of and help them to head in that direction. Support is not adding in your two cents about you think they should be doing. I have given this analogy so many times but this is what sums it up for me. Say my brother and his wife want to paint their house black with orange dots. Really being supportive means I say "Wow, interesting choice. Where's the brushes? Let's get this party started!" Instead of saying "Crap dude, those colors are crazy sucky. You will never be able to sell later, it will totally drop you house value. You should not do that, ever." Now, that is not to say that advice shouldn't be given, it just needs to be there when it is asked for. Often times we can see situations more objectively than those who are deep into it. When asked, we can shed light on our thoughts effectively and diplomatically. But the key is, when we are asked.

One of the things I hope I can instill in my girls is to be truly supportive. That it isn't always the most important thing to be right. Know what I mean? So many times I know I have been right about something, but the more right thing to do was let the other person figure it out for themselves. I hope my girls can navigate this, I hope they can do it well.