I have a lot of dreams. There's the recurring one where all of my teeth fall out of my mouth. That one disturbs me. And then there's the one where I find out I forgot to go to my Spanish class for my whole senior year of high school. So subsequently I failed the class. And then I didn't actually graduate. And so they took away my college degree. And then they told me that everything I had ever achieved in life really didn't happen and I had to start from scratch. A lot of times that dream feels really real.
But then there is the dream I had that was so vivid it feels like I had it last night. It was the dream I had a few days after Kelly died. It was the dream where I felt warm, and everything was so bright, and sunshiney, and joyful, and peaceful, and I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that he was really happy.
But then there are my daydreams. These are the ones where I think I look like Heidi Klum. And where my children obey everything I say without question and perform all their cuteness on demand. And how my house is completely spotless. And where my bank account has a lot of commas in the balance. And I get to shop at Anthropologie.
But then there are my dreams that are more like prayers. Where I dream for my friend's broken hearts to get better. Where I dream I have the perfect advice and wisdom to fix things. Where I have fantastic faith in the future. Where I dream the grief turns into happy memories. Where I dream my talents soar. Where I have made sure that everyone in my life knows the depth of my gratitude Where I dream I am a better person.
But then there are my dreams come true. Like my family who invites me to dinner. Like the friends who boost me up when I'm wilting. Like that one in the picture above. He's a pretty dreamy boy. And he has two pretty dreamy big sisters. And I have a pretty dreamy husband who fixes the lightbulbs, takes out the trash, puts gas in my car, pays the bills and charges my cell phone. Because he loves me.
I guess I'll keep dreaming. It's been pretty good to me.
5 comments:
I do not have a clue as to why a whole construction crew would have such crazy things to say about an amazing post. Your friendship has been a dream and I could not be here without you!!! You truly are amazing and you do resemble Heidi Klum :) Thank you for being such a great friend!
He is pretty dreamy....you do have such a wonderful family.
I have a dream that I missed my whole semester of math.....the only class holding me back from graduation. Kills me every time! :)
Heather, this boy is adorable!!! He does look like Alex, doesn't he? I'm so happy for you. My dad said that Lilly was really happy to have some TGI Friday's in Ukraine :). Love you.
What a fantastic post. I had to laugh at your nighmares because I have the EXACT same ones except its math class.
Your dreaming has certainly served you well. Keep it up!
and I'll keep on dreaming with my unreachable one. but who knows?
this is beautiful.
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